Criticism & Negative Comments: Effective Ways For Handling These
Did you also suffer a lot and had bear lots of nasty comments from people around you?
I think it’s quite obvious for the people who are surviving till the date must have beard lot of criticism at their work, college, home, or almost everywhere. So, we all are not alone in this society where people love to throw their judgments on each other.
Their judgments are so harsh to accept and can even downgrade our self-esteem, and also makes us dicy about our own abilities and force us to take a lot of time in convincing ourselves about our awesomeness and to finally get back on track.
It’s been years that I keep on thinking that do these people have the right to downgrade others for no specific reason? Their criticism also leaves people like us with a question mark on our own abilities and self-worth.
So I came to a conclusion, that made me realize that critics are not always bad, some critics are also meant to make us aware of our drawbacks and mistakes so that we can improve them as much as possible. As knowing our weaknesses is the only source to get over them by making improvements. So, not all critics are bad, some are healthier as well, it actually depends on the intention of the person who is criticizing you.
There are two types of criticism – constructive or destructive.
Constructive Criticism – Constructive criticism is all about making you aware of your mistakes by giving you feedbacks that might be harsh to confront. This type of criticism is not only focused on pointing out your mistakes but is also about guiding you about the improvements which can be done.
Destructive Criticism – Destructive criticism is all about harming one’s self-esteem by degrading him or his capabilities. This negative feedback can also shake our confidence and trust in ourselves.
Well, both the situations make us hurt, as it’s quite difficult to take negative comments on us, but your way of reacting and taking those critics with a positive approach can be very beneficial for you before you realize it.
We should take the healthy criticism sportingly, as the person who is unable to bear the negative feedbacks and find it hard in learning something from it can never reach the level of success.
Below are some tips to deal with both constructive and destructive criticism
Steps For Accepting Constructive Criticism
Focus on the benefits of getting feedback – rather than hurting your ego of getting criticism, focus on the purpose of that person who is criticizing you for something. Think honestly, that is it really your fault which the speaker is referring to? If yes, then you should consider the benefit of getting feedback, as only knowing your flaws can make you bring improvement in yourself.
So, whenever receive constructive criticism from someone, instantly calm your mind, and before giving any reaction remind your mind that this critic can be beneficial for you in the future to polish your skills.
Don’t interrupt – try not to interrupt in between when a person is giving you feedback. After reminding your mind of the advantages of getting feedback, our next step should be listening to that sentence carefully and calmly, avoid giving any anxious or aggressive reaction, instead listen quietly and understand their perspective and point of concern deeply.
Don’t defend yourself aggressively- it’s difficult to accept our flaws and mistakes in front of others, as this is considered a matter of shame. So, just for “appearing right”, people get trapped into illogical arguments and start defending themselves with wrong statements and with an aggressive tone.
This is where we get wrong, rather than engaging in the debate we should know the value of learning good things. If you are having some point to justify your actions, then bring it out in front of that person, but in a humble way. He might be able to understand your position after going through your point.
Accept your mistake and discuss about further improvements- if it’s your mistake, be open to being agreed on it, and once the feedback is done discuss the ways through which things can be correctly done. And at last, thank the person for his feedback.
Instead of ruining your mood by thinking about the negative statements, focus on the ways to improve what’s done wrong. Set a goal in your mind, and start working on it.
This was all about handling the constructive feedback which is sometimes necessary for us to know our weaknesses so that we can become better, but the matter gets more sensitive when it comes to handling the destructive criticism. Let’s discuss some best ways for dealing with it.
Ways To Deal With Destructive Criticism
Avoid being aggressive – when someone throws an irrational negative comment on us, it’s quite natural to react aggressively. But if you go that way, trust me the naysayer will have his favorable situation then, as this is what he wants, to make you feel embarrassed and hurt, and your aggression will prove your disappointment.
So, act wisely and take a pause, and think that your critic’s irrational statements are nowhere linked with the reality, so remain calm and stable yourself with deep breaths.
Understand his critique and repeat his statement – repeating the statement of your criticizer will help you out in 3 ways. First, you’ll understand his critique better, secondly, by repeating his illogical statement, you are actually repeating his nuisance and rubbish thinking in front of him which might make him unsure of what he has stated.
And the third benefit is, you can bring on the focus on his critique instead of your reaction.
Give a humble disagreement – after calmly listening to the negative comment, first try to look out the perspective of the criticizer, as this might be a possibility that he doesn’t know how to give feedback constructively, might be there is a mistake by your side which you need to understand.
But if it’s not like that, then we don’t need to agree on the irrational criticism on us, if the naysayer is a senior of you whether at work, home, or an institution, then simply justify your actions by logic. Your single confident reply will make that naysayer think twice before throwing his negative comments on you again in the future.
Ignore – Ignorance is the best weapon to combat criticism, and here ignorance is not meant to just “show avoidance” to the critiques which are linked with you. Here ignorance means the inner change of your personality which doesn’t let you bothered by what people are saying and thinking about you. It’s not as easy I know, but this is one of the best solutions which will make you free from all the burdens of critiques for your whole life.
Don’t let your life to be influenced by what people around you have opinions about you, because you don’t have to become the “product of people’s opinion”, you’re a human being which are having their own specific qualities and inferiorities.
And you’re not living in this world just to please everyone you meet, some people may praise you, and some will criticize you for what you are. So, don’t let your inner faith be shaken by others’ nuisance comments.